Confused, gut-munching french cannibals: CANNIBAL TERROR review

Man oh man, this must be the lamest cannibal film ever made. I think I’m in love. Cannibal Terror (1980) is worth seeking out if you’re a sad, pathetic bad-movie-fan like me. But you really have to change your way of looking at movies to enjoy retarded shit like this. Here’s the plot: Three criminals kidnap a young girl and escape into the jungle. The “jungle” setting is hilarious. It’s obviously just someone’s garden. Anyway, they end up being pursued by goofy looking natives. This weird, French cannibal movie is nowhere near as graphically violent as the Italian cannibal movies – and most of the cannibals here are caucasian with Elvis sideburns and beer-bellies. Nice.

This shithole of a movie was banned in Britain as one of the original “Video Nasties”, but I wonder if the director was serious about this messed up film or he actually intended to make the funniest comedy of the decade..? Who knows..?

cannibal-terror

Cannibal Terror is so embarrassingly bad it sucks the life force right out of you – and the cannibals in the film do nothing but bring a smile to your face. The only way they could possibly have made this film any cheesier is if they had the cannibals suddenly doing song & dance numbers. I liked this film (despite the low rating) and I loved the upbeat synth version of “La Bamba”. In other words: Do not take this retarded review seriously, and certainly do not take this film seriously. It’s boring with lots of boring crap in it. But you should check it out if you enjoy bad movies, because they don’t get much worse than this. And right now I’m sitting here admiring the awesome DVD cover art, and there’s a creepy voice inside me saying: “Watch the film again, you idiot!!” It sounds like a good idea at the moment. I need help, this shit can’t be good for me.

Cannibal Terror (“Terreur cannibale”)
Release year: 1980
Country: Spain/France
Director: Alain Deruelle
Man oh man, this must be the lamest cannibal film ever made. I think I'm in love. Cannibal Terror (1980) is worth seeking out if you're a sad, pathetic bad-movie-fan like me. But you really have to change your way of looking at movies to enjoy retarded shit like this. Here's the plot: Three criminals kidnap a young girl and escape into the jungle. The "jungle" setting is hilarious. It's obviously just someone's garden. Anyway, they end up being pursued by goofy looking natives. This weird, French cannibal movie is nowhere near as graphically violent as the Italian cannibal movies…

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